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Something I Don't Understand

    I stand away looking at all the people moving about and I stop to think, does anyone have the insecurity that I have?  I stop to think and I wonder if I am the only person who has a dilemma about their own feelings.  I don't know what thoughts they have that might be tormenting their mind, but I know what thoughts are in my own mind.  Do they have feelings they don't want to feel, thoughts they don't want to feel, or questions they will not ask?  Are their feelings damaged like my own?  Do they dream a dream that can not come true?

    In all I can see from this view point: happiness comes in the deepest, darkest, coldest times.  This happiness can be the greatest feeling that someone might ever feel or the one thing that can tear an individual apart. In many ways, happiness can hurt more than any pain or human blow.  No one can be happy forever, and when its time for that persons own happiness to end then the strongest feeling sets in.  This feeling lives in a person and seeds off of all the hurt, sorrow, and depression that a person has seen or felt in their life.

    It waits for the one moment for a chance to come out. When it finds that chance, it will rapidly kill all happiness like a fly under a ten ton weight.  It can overpower all emotions and make someone forget what is truly important.  It makes the past come alive in the future.  All things that can hurt or even destroy that individual's rational thoughts come to mind.  nothing will be,  or even is held back, in this battle.  The only person who can stop this attack is the poor, helpless individual who is experiencing the pain and the hurt for all they have done.

    This mighty warrior of depression and pain only come armed with the truth and the past.  Most people can defeat this warrior, but a few push it aside and help others help themselves. It grow stronger and stronger every time it is pushed away and not defeated.  Then a point comes, when no help can turn that person's inner thoughts around. No help can be given to defeat the person's enemy inside them.  Life as an individual knows it, is changed in ways that someone's own self image seems totally  worthless in their own eyes.  It seems that everyone and everything is worth more then that person's little lonely self Networks.

    This all come from that little happiness that people look for.  They don't know or understand that the real feeling moving in is all about.  Happiness is great but can that person deal with everything else that follows  in with it?  People might not see the mental battle happening, however it is.  And for most, they don't feel the effects of this battle. Others can't recover from the severer loss in their way of life.

    After all of this takes place, then people begin realize that all other feelings go away, even the feelings they don't want to feel. Thoughts become cluttered in a mist of confusion, and questions become useless to ask. This makes that little bit of happiness become dreaded and painful. So I stand here looking at others for the answer, to a question about life, that can never be answered. I see that happiness hurts..

by Louis Yacono

 

A New Day

As I Am

About My Feelings

Poem To The Person I Love

The Same

Thoughts

The Last Poem

The End is Near

Something I Don't Understand

Death of a Tear